New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize