we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
smell my finger.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
