i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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