Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
