just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
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I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
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We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
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