so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
