What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
it was like eating out sand paper
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
