she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
