I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
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so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize