Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
