Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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