No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
