accomplished twins. life is a go
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
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