I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
