guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I want a musical about memes.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
