is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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