If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Randomize
