Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
