whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
