big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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