so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize