So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
