hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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