The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
