dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
