you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
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