he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Randomize
