Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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