We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
