Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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