I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize
