Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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