did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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