ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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