i just google imaged poop.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
