youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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