We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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