Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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