we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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