Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
