youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
