I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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