My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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