i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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