Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
