and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
