It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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