U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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