pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
