Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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