i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
