it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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