I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
