Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
