There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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