there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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