Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
