its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
