What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
