If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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