i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
