god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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