ya dads aren't the best wingmen
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize