Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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