at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
